I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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