PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
