Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I want her autograph on my taint
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize