i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
