And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
