Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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