Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
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