I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
