at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
