Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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