Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
