I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
