Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
