Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Farmville is her only friend.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
