yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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