I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
