you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
