She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize