WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
