so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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