we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
