Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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