fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
