My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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