I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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