Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
