marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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