Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
