You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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