I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
