she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
