I bet he comes in French.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
