How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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