im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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