I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
