Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
