Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
