New invention idea: vibrating tampons
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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