Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
