Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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