Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
