I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
