Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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