I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
