dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
