Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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