also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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