good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
