Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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