He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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