but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
