I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
