u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
