idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
