Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
