i just google imaged poop.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
