I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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