I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
