why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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