Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
