no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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