I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
