This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
