I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
