let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
