my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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