Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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