I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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