Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize