I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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