So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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