its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
