I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
