she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
